This is the most important ingredient to happiness. Knowing who we are, and what our purpose in life is. This is the single key to happiness. It stands on its own. If you truly understand this, then you have achieved happiness.

2. Living Your life as One You

Which means the way you want Allah (SWT) to see you, is the way that everyone should
see you. So if you want Allah (SWT) to see you as a pious, humble, patient Muslim, then
become a pious, humble, and patient Muslim. If you want Allah (SWT) to see you as a great mother, and then work on becoming a great mother, never give up on it. InshAllah.

3. Being Thankful to Allah (SWT)

Always! No matter what happens, as Muslims we should be thankful. Abu Yahya Suhaib bin Sinan (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that: The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, “How wonderful is the case of a believer; there is good for him in everything and this applies only to a believer. If prosperity attends him, he expresses gratitude to Allah and that is good for him; and if adversity befalls him, he endures it patiently and that is better for him”. (Sahih-Muslim)

4. Never Stop Trying!

This is a Powerful ingredient, because most people give up so easily. They say “Oh I am not patient, or oh I can’t do that, or oh I can’t learn that.” The list goes on and on. Instead one should keep trying their best, and inshAllah, they will change and be better than they were before. I will give you a quick example of myself here. When I first started home schooling I thought I would die, because it was so difficult to get my kids motivated to do their work. Also I had never done this sort of thing, and I was running out of patience. I was treating them like little adults, when they were only kids. I knew I was wrong, and many a time I wanted to just put them back into private school, but I kept thinking, I can do this, inshAllah, but I needed to change the way I was doing it. I started to figure out different ways parents home schooled their kids. Every day I still work on myself and try to be more patient, work with different curriculum to achieve the goals that I have set for my kids, yet they have to be happy as well, inshAllah…This is a lesson for all of us, that sometimes we just keep on trying. I can’t say everything will be fixed like this, but 90% of things will, inshAllah.

5. Always Have the End in Mind!

Remember that Jannah that must be won. Always think of the rewards Allah (SWT) will give us, for being happy, trying our best, and making every moment count. InshAllah. Have faith in His mercy, and yet fear His punishment. Know that this world is only a test for us, and that it is a temporary abode. Live to make your next life your best life, by being happy with everything that He has blessed you with in this life. Always think that today could be your last day, and are you ready to see Allah (SWT).

Jazak Allah Khairan,

Zohra

Asalamalakium Wa Rahmatulluhe Wa Barakatuhu,

Many people want their children to pray, but are not sure how to inspire them to do it.  InshAllaah I will give you 3 tips that I use daily to help me, and I pray that it helps all of you who really want to accomplish this goal, inshAllaah.


The First Tip:  Lead By Example

You as the parent, older sibling, grandparent or caretaker must lead by example.  This is the most important tip, and it is vital to the success of your child inshAllaah.  You see many parents tell their children to pray, or recite Quraan, or do something that they themselves do not do.  Of course we can’t do everything, but prayer is something that is obligatory on all of the Muslims, so there are no excuses why we do not pray.

If you do not know how to pray, then you must learn inshAllaah.



Tip 2:  Pray as a Family- inshAllaah!

When you get to pray as a family, it is very connecting and rewarding.  Everyone gets up when they hear the athan and makes wudoo.  After wudoo, pray your sunnah or 2 nafl, just to warm up, inshAllaah.  Then everyone stands in their places and prays together.  Most of the time my husband prays at the Masjid, Alhamdullilah.    However the 2 boys, my daughter and I pray at home most of the time.  InshAllaah my 7 year old will soon be praying with his dad at the Masjid as often as he can as well- inshAllaah.  When you pray as a family, it helps everyone talk about which surrah’s they may recite, which duas they will ask Allaah (SWT) for, and help you all be closer.  Doing things together always makes it more fun, and exciting.


Tip 3:  Help Them Understand What The Prayer Means!

Helping you child understand the meaning of what they are doing, is very empowering as to why they will do it, inshAllaah.   There are many good books to help your child with this, and inshAllaah, I will give you a few links below:

http://www.noorart.com/Adams-World-Lets-Pray-DVD

http://www.noorart.com/color_and_learn_salah

http://www.noorart.com/Time-to-Pray-with-Zaky-DVD

http://www.noorart.com/Time-to-Pray

The more the child knows about prayer and understand why we do it, the more they will want to do it., and inshAllaah the more they will love to do it- inshAllaah.

Jazak Allaah Khairan,

Zohra Sarwari

Asalamalakium Wa Rahmatulluhe Wa Barakatuhu,

Unfortunately we as humans all have bad habits.  However, that does not mean that we cannot change- inshAllaah by the will of Allaah (SWT) anything is possible, but we must take the steps below to begin our process, inshAllaah.  We may think it is tough for us, imagine how hard it can be for a child.  So inshAllaah as you are going through these next few steps not only could you help your child, but inshAllaah you could help yourself as well.

Step 1: We must help our child admit what is his or her bad habit is.  This is vital to one’s success.  If they cannot admit they have a problem of yelling, lying, being rude, gossiping, then how can they change it?

Step 2: We must tell him/her that they must sincerely make dua to Allaah (SWT) so that he may help them change.  They must get closer to our Creator, and ask Him for help, and support while trying to transition to becoming a better person.  This is very important, for they already admitted their problem, and now they are seeking help from the One who can make it happen for them.

Step 3: Help them read books and information on how he or she can change that habit inshAllaah.  For example if he/or she has a bad habit of biting nails, then you can purchase for them a polish that you put on their fingers to help them stop biting their nails.  It is called Bite It.  So we must educate ourselves on what is out there to help us stop our bad habits, and then pick one of those ways and inshAllaah, begin at once.

Step 4: Help your child by being consistent with them.  Make sure that everyday you help them remember the bad habit that they want to change, and help them use the new way to change it.  For example, if your putting a polish on their nails so that they may stop biting their nails, then do it daily.  Or else they will fall back into the bad habit.

InshAllaah this has helped you, I give this advice to myself first, then to all of you.

Jazak Allaah Khairan,

Your sister Zohra

Asalamalakium Wa Rahmatullahe Wa Barakatuhu,

Many times we think as parents that we are doing our best, and that is good enough.  The question I want you to think about is: Is the time I spend with my child quality time?

You might be thinking sure it is, but I want you to think does your time with your child fulfill these 4 requirements to make it quality time:

1. Is he or she learning anything from you in that time?

2. Is he or she enjoying that time with you?

3. Are you able to walk away from the world, and just focus on your child during that time?  (For example no phone calls, watching TV, or any distractions that would take the time away from him or her)

4. Will these moments be something he or she remembers in the future inshAllaah?

I mention these 4 qualities, because when at the end of the day our children are a reflection of who we are, how we are, what we do, how we speak, how we behave, and how we are with others.

You see as a parent we always want our children to become great, inshAllaah.  We want them to have the best manners, tarrbiyaa, ahlaq, knowledge, education, etc.

If we have these dreams and goals for our children are we nurturing them that way?  Do we have them around the people who have the best manners, ahlaq, and tarrbiya?  Do we have them studying the subjects we want them to be great at?

You see most of the times we have goals and dreams, but we are not taking the correct steps to help fulfill those dreams and goals.  Lastly, but most importantly are our intentions to do all this should be to please Allaah (SWT), or is it our children we should please- but forget why we are doing it?

The Prophet (SAAW) said:

‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab quoted Allaah’s Messenger (PBUH) as saying: “Indeed actions are according to their intentions and every person will have what he intended.  So, whoever’s migration was for Allaah and His Messenger, then his migration is for Allaah and His Messenger. Whoever’s migration was for this world or a woman for marriage, his migration is for what he migrated.”
(Bukhari and Muslim)

I feel that we often forget what our intentions are for, and we may do an act, and it may be a noble act, but if the intention is not to please Allaah (SWT), then we need to check ourselves.  SubhanAllaah, this is something I fear all the time, making sure my intentions are correct, and I feel as parents we get so busy and we want to do good for our children, but how often are we checking our intentions?

Ok, so inshAllaah I hope that your pondering about your time that you spend with your child, if it is quality time or not, and I am hoping that your intentions in spending that time with your child are for the sake of Allaah (SWT).

Jazak Allaah Khairan,

Zohra

2.    Make extra food at least once a week, and take it to at least 3-5  neighbors, inshAllaah. It does not matter if they are Muslim or Non-Muslim.  Share the iftar with them, and if they are Non-Muslim let them know it is the month of Ramadan for us.

3.    Sit down everyday and read the Quraan with meaning to your children. Talk to them about it.   Help them understand what they recite in Salah, and what Allaah (SWT) is telling us.  Spend at least 15 minutes, however- if you can, try to do at least one Juz a day, inshAllaah.

4.    Sit down with your child, and talk to them about donating to the poor. If they have money and they want to donate, all of you should pool your money together and then take it or send it to whom you want to help, inshAllaah.

5.    Let your children help you cook. This will be great family time, as well as teaching them skills inshAllaah.  Make an effort to do this as often as you can.   Sisters this includes your sons and daughters.   We baby the brothers and therefore they have such minimum skills when it comes to household work.  Yet the girls, must do it all; go to school, clean, cook, etc.  Try to teach both of the genders as many skills as you can, so that it may benefit them inshAllaah in the future.  The more skills you help your child attain, the more he or she will have as an adult.  They will be well-rounded, and an asset to their jobs, families, and communities, and society– inshAllaah.

6.    Make a dua list with your children. Tell them to write down 5 things that they want from Allaah (SWT), and everyday to ask for those items, inshAllaah.  Let them be sincere, and ask Allaah (SWT) for their wishes.

Asalamalakium Wa Rahamatullhe Wa Barakatuhu,

Is it because the parent has to be a teacher, parent, and friend all at the same time?  Is it because it is the most fun job for any parent?  Is it because the child gets to sleep until all hours?

The answer for me was none of the above.  When I decided to home school I did it for 1 reason only, and that was to raise my children to become pious, humble, hard-working, children with high values and morals.  I knew that on the Day of Judgment I would be responsible in answering for them to my Lord, and I kept reflecting on what would my answers be.  “I didn’t have time to raise my children the right way or I needed to work, or everyone did it that way, or it was too hard, etc.”  After I thought of all of the answers I realized none of them were sufficient for my Lord, for He was the All Aware.

So one day I decided to write down what I expected from my children when they turned 18, inshAllaah.  What would be some goals as a parent I hoped that they would achieve.  Now before you begin criticizing me on thinking about goals for my children- just remember every parent has goals for their children.  Many parents have goals that their children get straight A’s.  While other parents only push towards loving science so that they may become doctor’s, while other parents push towards being a musician, dancer, actor or actress.  Most of these parents nurture their children at the ages of 3 and up, and help them mold into what they want them to be as an adult….For example they take their kids to beauty pageants, acting classes, signing classes, golf classes, etc.

I decided I too wanted to be one of those parents but what was it that I wanted my child to be like inshAllaah.

1.  To remember Allaah (SWT) at all times.

2.  To have a high moral.  To be able to make good choices when no one was looking.

3.  To have good values as taught in Islam to us.  No mocking people, backbiting, lying, cheating, etc.

4.  To pray 5 times a day on time, and wake up for tajjud- inshAllaah.

5.  To fast Monday’s and Thursday’s inshAllaah.

There are many more reasons, and I will be discussing all of that in my new book coming out inshAllaah about Home Schooling.

So my point is that I began to write a list, and then decided which method of education would help me achieve it.  I crossed off public school, I tried Private School, and was disappointed in the other parents.  So I began to look at Montessori style, charter school, etc.  I realized that I still had many restrictions with them still…so as a woman who never imagined that I would stay home and teach my own children, I made that decision.  If these are my goals, than I have to do most of the work, or hire teachers to help these goals come true inshAllaah.

So it began with the end in mind, that I have to answer to Allaah on how my kids turn out.  Ofcourse we don’t have full control over that, but I just wanted to do my best, inshAllaah.  Next, how to make the most out of homeschooling, inshAllaah.

So my answer to the question above why is home schooling the best choice – is because you have so much control on how you want to raise your child.  You have the ability to inspire them to become great leaders, help them follow their passion, for example my daughter wants to be a zoologist, and so I am allowing her to read books on animals, and to learn more about it, inshAllaah.

I hope that this has helped you.  InshAllaah my new book will be coming out soon, called “The Power of Home Schooling” In that book I will have many great stories, tips, and how you too can home school your children inshAllaah….

Jazak Allaah Khairan,

Your sister Zohra

Asalamalakium Wa Rahmatullahe Wa Barakatuhu,

This is a question that I ask myself everyday.  So I will tell you what it is that I am doing inshAllaah, and pray that it  might benefit you, inshAllaah as well.

1. The first thing that I do is make dua to Allaah (SWT) for guidance in the situation that I am in, and for Him to show me the right path of becoming a great parent inshAllaah.  This is key to your success as a parent, for 1. You realize that you have a problem, and 2.  You are asking for help and guidance from the only one who can truly give it to you.

This is a great Dua to recite inshAllaah during stressful moments:

Allahumma rahmataka arjoo falaa
takilnee ilaa nafsee tarfata
‘aynin wa aslih-lee sha’nee
kullahu, laa ilaha illa anta

O Allah! It is Your mercy that I
hope for so do not leave me in
charge of my affairs even for a
blink of an eye and rectify
for me all of my affairs. None has
the right to be worshiped except You.

2. I always look at an issue that I am having with my child and try to see what the Sunnah prescribed for this situation.  If the Prophet Muhammad (SAAW) or the Sahaba  had gone through a situation similar to mine.  This helps me a lot to think, reflect, and try to implement new ways into raising my children properly, inshAllaah.

3. I go on a rampage for books on amazon.com.  I look for book titles that have had similar issues as I am having.  This too opens my eyes to many different possibilities of how things can be done inshAllaah.  I love reading, but more than just knowing we must take action and implement it.

“Knowledge without action is useless”

I hope that this has helped, I like to keep my blogs short, sweet and to the point!  Alhamdullilah…

Jazak Allaah Khairan,

Your sister in Islam,

Zohra

Asalamalakium Wa Rahmatullehe Wa Barakatuhu,

MashAllaah many parents are happy, but there are times of tension, and difficulty even as a parent.  So how can a parent be happy in times such as those?

In times where you just want to get away from the child…lol…

I have come up with 3 easy steps inshAllaah.

1.  First step is look at the situation that has made you upset and turn it around. Ask yourself as soon as it happens, if this was you, and you made this mistake at the same age, how would you want your parent to react to you?

This is a powerful question, for we all know that if the tables were turned we would want mercy…we would want care, compassion, and understanding.

So if this is how we would want to be treated, then please treat your child the same way, inshAllaah.  Just remember that your children are also a test, and that Allaah (SWT) is watching how you are dealing with them.

“Wealth and children are the adornment of the life of this world. But the good righteous deeds, that last, are better with your Lord for rewards and better in respect of hope.”

(The Quraan, Surrah Al- Kahf- Verse 46)

2.  Look at every difficulty as an opportunity to teach a lesson.
InshAllaah only Allaah knows how many times this one lesson can benefit this child and others.  Instead of reacting with anger, annoyance, or ignorance, use this opportunity to inshAllaah teach a valuable lesson in a calm and relax voice, inshAllaah.

3.  Think about how many people have it worse than you. Always remember your blessings, and how it could always be worse, and that many parents have it worse that you.  Prostrate to Allaah, and ask for patience, perseverance, and be grateful.  Remember Allaah so that He may remember you.

“Do not look to those above you. Look to those below you, as it will more likely remind you of Allah’s favors bestowed on you.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)

To Your Success- inshAllaah!
Your sister Zohra